Well, last night's pick sucked fucking donkey balls. Apparently Ricky Williams is better than I thought. It's amazing what can happen when you stop toking up every fucking day. I should have known. Carolina has been fucking me all season with my picks. They are a huge pain in the ass. Whatever.
Remember a few weeks ago when I bitched about the old people in my apartment complex? Of course you don't. But the point is, I did bitch about it. And those old fuckers have done nothing since then to change my opinion. Fuck them. Why am I rehashing this? Well I got home from work today and came upon this:
Mother. Fucker. I know you can't really tell from the photo, but that car is parked directly in front of the stairs. And that is NOT A FUCKING PARKING SPOT! It's not enough for you to park like an asshole in a regular spot? Now you have to park in a no parking space AND fucking park diagonally? Well fuck you, whoever you are. I fucking hate you.
On to the picks...home team in CAPS
DETROIT (-3.5) over Cleveland
What a fucking suckfest. I have no idea who is going to win this game but I can't fathom taking a franchise that I just nominated for Dorn of the Week. Also, fuck Eric Mangini right in his Mangina.
JACKSONVILLE (-8.5) over Buffalo
So long, Dick Jauron! I'll miss Skeletor and his complete and utter indifference on the sidelines. Anyway, the Jags are finally getting their shit together so this should be a nice blowout. I just really don't get the feeling that this Bills team is going to rally around a new coach.
GREEN BAY (-6.5) over San Francisco
The Packers look to be back on track after blanking Romo and the Cowboys on Sunday. And the Niners still suck. The only reason they got a win last week is because Jay Cutler is an overrated piece ofr shit. At least it shut Gregg Easterbrook up. Fucking douche.
Pittsburgh (-9.5) over KANSAS CITY
Losing Troy Palamalu hurts, but the Steelers are still going to rape the shit out of the Chiefs.
Washington (+11.5) over DALLAS
Dallas is winning this game. Washington is better than people think, though. Ladell Betts will do just fine replacing Portis.
NEW YORK GIANTS (-6.5) over Atlanta
Wow, Matty Ryan is falling apart like crazy, huh? Matty Ice my ass. The G-Men better win this game or Coughlin's head is going to fucking explode.
New Orleans (-11.5) over TAMPA BAY
God the Saints have an easy schedule. Get ready for a loss next week against the Pats.
BALTIMORE (-0.5) over Indianapolis
Fuck Peyton Manning and fuck the Colts.
MINNESOTA (-11.5) over Seattle
God the Vikings have an easy schedule. And clearly I don't give a shit about most of this week's games so I'm mailing this post in.
Arizona (-9.5) over ST. LOUIS
BO-RING
San Diego (-2.5) over DENVER
Other websites actually have Denver favored in this game. That's free fucking money, poeple.
OAKLAND (+9.5) over Cincinnati
I just have a feeling that Cincy struggles in this one.
NEW ENGLAND (-10.5) over New York Jets
This is going to be a fucking slaughter. The Pats are going to be fired up to make up for last week's choke job. The Jets are terrible and their head coach is a fucking crybaby. Fuck the Jets.
CHICAGO (+3.5) over Philadelphia
This is a stupid pick and I know it. Fuck.
Tennessee (+4.5) over HOUSTON
I think Houston wins this game, but it's gonna be by a field goal. What a shitty Monday night game.
