Last week, after the release of Andre Agassi's autobiography, which revealed that he had tested positive for crystal meth but lied his way out of a suspension, Martina Navratilova spoke up and said that she now views him in the same light as Roger Clemons. I considered making her a DOTW Nominee but I held back because for some reason I have a soft spot for Martina. And also, it's fucking tennis, and who gives a fuck, right?
But now, Marat Safin has opened his big fucking yap and suggested that Agassi should forfeit his titles and give back his winnings. And now I feel like I have to say something.
In the spirit of this blog...SHUT UP, DORN! Or in this case, Martina and Marat. Let's start with you, Martina. Are you fucking kidding me, comparing Agassi to Roger Clemens? Let's see, Clemens lied about steroids, which helped him to multiple Cy Young awards and propelled himself to the status of one of the greatest pitchers of all time. How does that even remotely compare to using crystal meth? Last time I checked, steroids enhanced performance and crystal meth seriously inhibited performance. Not that I would actually know in either case.
And you, Marat, where the fuck do you get off saying that Agassi should relinquish his titles? If Agassi was doing crystal meth AND winning titles, that's fucking amazing. Imagine if he hadn't been doing that shit? He might have even more titles. I'm sure you wouldn't give up your titles and money if it came out that you beat someone who was impaired because he was using, right? And as for questioning Agassi's motives for coming out with this information now? Of course he's trying to sell books! Shocking! But there's also the fact that Agassi has gone on the record saying that this secret has weighed on his conscience for years and he wanted to get it off his chest.
So both of you, shut the fuck up and move on with your lives. This doesn't put a black mark on tennis in even the slightest way. If anything, it's bringing attention to your sport, which has plummeted in recent years as far as public interest goes. So maybe you should be a little bit grateful that people are actually talking about tennis in terms other than the star power of Federer, Nadal, and fat-ass Serena.
Source: ESPN
