Mmmmm That's Good Schadenfreude

Holy motherfucking tits what a great day of college football!

First, those little fucksticks from Iowa finally used up their ninth life and couldn't come back for the 100th fucking week in a row. And Boise State gladly moves up a spot in the BCS. Thanks, Northwestern!

Then, Oregon waltzes into Stanford, still drunk from celebrating the shitbeating of USC last week and promptly shits all over the field. And Boise State gladly listens to the silence as all the fucking douchebag pieces of shit like Dan Shanoff shut the fuck up about how Oregon should have been ranked higher than BSU, regardless of the head to head result. Seriously, this is a sport where the media constantly criticizes the system, and rightly so, because championships are decided by the voters, and not on actual game results, and yet here is a situation where two teams actually played each other and they are just completely discounting the results. No wonder college football is so fucked. The dickheads running the show are incompetent, and the media is even fucking worse. Fuck.

And finally, Notre Dame loses to Navy. At home. Thank. Fucking. God. If those Irish pricks had weaseled their way into a BCS bowl only to crushed for the millionth time it would have been absolutely outrageous. Fuck Notre Dame.

(By the way, I did a google image search for "nelson haha" to get that picture. An entire page of different variations came up. Except for one picture, that was just three naked dudes in various states of arousal. So, thanks for that, google. Jerks.)

So Close...

"And it's a bittersweet playing of the alma mater for Notre Dame."

That line, followed by shots of a somber Notre Dame team halfheartedly listening to the school song just made up for the disappointment of having Florida pull a win out of the their fucking collective asses earlier. God dammit, Arkansas, you forced FOUR turnovers and still couldn't pull of the win? How about getting a kicker who isn't going to miss two crucial field goals. Jesus.

Can you imagine the schadenfreude if Florida had lost? I sure as shit can. I'd be reveling in the excuses everyone would make for Tebow's concussed ass. I'd throw a party as they ripped down the plaque of Tebow's horseshit promise after last year's loss to Ole Miss.

I'd have taken my pants off and run around my apartment screaming "WOOOOOOOOO PIG SOOOOOOIE!" and surely scaring the bejesus out of the wife. It would have been fucking glorious.

Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way. And now we get at least another week of hearing about the Legend of Tebow. Fucking bullshit. Instead I have to settle for Oklahoma's loss, as eloquently summed up by Booze, and the always pleasant experience of watching Notre Dame shit the bed. I was fucking pumped when they reviewed the final play and put 1 second back on the clock. Now the shithead ND fans had hope! One more play! Clausen for Heisman! Yeah, not quite, dickheads.