I want the Yankees to win the whole fucking thing.
Years of hanging out with BamaDawg have turned me into a closet Yankee fan. With the hometown Mariners being enormous piles of shit more interested in playing "Cotton Eye Joe" during the 8th inning that actually winning a fucking game, I am forced to turn to the Anti-Mariners, and that would be the Yanks. You see, the Mariners aren't exactly have nots in Major League Baseball... no they are in the 12th largest media market, owned by fucking Nintendo, and have an enormous Pacific Rim following. In fact, until this season the Mariners were ranked by Forbes as the 4th most valuable team in all of baseball. Now after years of neglect and the effective pussification of the entire organization, their value has plumeted to 13th and they own the oldest lineup of slap hitting cheesedicks in all of baseball.If any of you are thinking, "but they have Ichiro!", Fuck off. Fuck off right now you fucking, fuck. Ichiro is a slap hitting silly nanny. I want some god damn power in my lineup like the Murderer's Row of old featuring Griffey, Edgar Martinez, Tino Martinez, A-rod, and Jay fucking Buhner.
So enter the Yankees... a team that has endless resources and is not afraid to use them. No the Yankees don't sit around with a 90 million dollar payroll hoping to maybe break .500 and finish second in the West... they break the fucking bank to win titles. Why can't I have just one team like that in this sports depressed city? Instead we have the previously mentioned Mariners, the football retarded Seahawks, the defensively inept Washington Huskies, and the lonely ghost of the Sonics.
So onto my prediction:
Yankees in 6 - MVP to CC Sabathia just to piss off TheMarkShow.
And the Yankees will hit some long balls too instead of slap hitting some singles...
Chicks (and dicks) dig the long ball.
