Hey everybody, it's fucking Jim Nantz as our Dorn of the Week! Mike Greenberg was the leader in the clubhouse for his "Martin Luther Coon" slip-up early in the week, but quite frankly, that's not the first time anyone's slipped like that and really, are we supposed to believe the Greeny is a racist? I don't think so.But why Jim Nantz, you ask? Well, we've got two reasons for you. First of all, we all know that Nantz is somewhat famous for coming up with cheesy lines to punctuate a championship or Masters win or whatever. Some stupid pun or analogy that your average dipshit viewer can understand. "Rock. Chalk. Championship." comes to mind most recently after Kansas won the NCAA Tournament a few years ago. So that's all well and good, but this Sunday, after the Colts had won the AFC championship, Nantz served up this gem of fucktardery:
As smooth and as sweet as custard, Peyton Manning and the Colts patiently figured it out.
What?? Custard? Fucking CUSTARD? Did that smug piece of shit really just compare Peyton Manning to custard? At first I thought I was just hearing things but then a text from a buddy confirmed it. Jesus christ, Nantz. What the fuck?
And then there's this...Jim Nantz expressing his love for the Jonas brothers and claiming they will be biggest thing since the Beatles:
Ho-ly shit. First of all, I fucking hate Imus, but god bless him for just flat out saying the Jonas Brothers suck. I mean, I like all kinds of shitty music, I'll blast Miley Cyrus all fucking day, but I draw the line with those 3 little fuckstains. I love that Nantz immediately shifts gears and tries to say he only went to the FOUR concerts because of his daughter. I'm calling bullshit on that one. Nantz is such a fucking creep that it wouldn't shock me if he were a secret pedophile. He just gives off that vibe sometimes.
So there you have it, welcome to exclusive Dorn club, Jimmy boy!
