1. The BCS
Holy fuck it's been like 14 hours and I still can't believe that the cocksuckers in charge put Boise State and TCU in the Fiesta Bowl. You mother fuckers. What good does that do? Oh yippee we get to find out who's the best non-BCS conference team! Whoop-di-fucking-do. Wouldn't it have made way more sense to put TCU up against Florida and have Cincinnati play Boise State? Fuck yes it would have, so of course the BCS people fucked it up. Fuckheads. If you're so tired of listening to the TCUs and BSUs of the little conferences whining about deserving a shot with the big boys, let them have it and see what happens! Let them get slapped around and beaten into submission if you're so sure that's what the outcome would be. It would at least shut them up for a little while. But no, you're a bunch of fucking pussies, afraid that maybe, just maybe, the underdogs can compete with the powerhouses. But now we'll never know. Assfucks.
2. The New England Patriots
Jesus christ you guys fucking let me down yesterday. You rendered my whole rant on Simmons completely fucking useless. Fucking pathetic. Miami is NOT a good football team. I don't know what lies ahead for this Patriots team but my confidence in them is the lowest it's been in fucking years. Fuck.
3. Mother Nature
So after all the perfect, sunny weekends so far this "winter" you decide to throw a snow and ice storm on us the weekend I'm getting my Christmas tree? Fuck you! Now I've got a tree with ice all over it, just dripping on the fucking carpet while I crank the heat in the apartment to speed up the drying process. Pain in the fucking ass. Plus I got soaked hauling that fucker up the stairs.
4. Brett Favre
You're supposed to keep winning so that the Saints are forced to go for the undefeated season, you fucking jerk!
5. The mother fucker who starts his Harley at 4am
Asshole, there's snow and ice all over the fucking place. It is not motorcycle conditions! And do you really have to let the loud fucking monster idle for 20 minutes when I'm trying to sleep? Fucking dickhead. Just because the deaf old people can't hear that shit doesn't mean the same for me! Fuck. Off.
