One God-Damn Hit?: Saturday Morning Thoughts


If you're offended by the word fuck, then get the fuck out.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Saturday Morning Thoughts

It's 7:30 in the morning as I start writing this post. I've been up since 6. Basically, my internal clock is a fucking asshole. I struggle to get out of bed between 6:30 and 7am every fucking day of the week when I have to get up for work, yet when it comes to Saturday? Wide fucking awake at 6am. It never fucking fails.

Our bedroom window faces east so as soon as the sun comes up our room gets lit the fuck up. Sometimes we pull the shade down but most of the time I kind of like waking up because of natural light instead of the heart attack inducing shriek of the alarm clock. But on weekends I always forget to pull the shade down and the sun and my dickhead internal clock always wake me up way too fucking early. Wifey has the ability to put a pillow over her face and go right back to sleep. I'm not nearly that lucky. I wake up and my brain is immediately filled with questions.

"Do you have to go to the bathroom?" Yes. /get up and pee
"Now that you're back in bed, do you still have to go to the bathroom?" Yes. Fuck /get up and take a dump
"Hey, how come you can't wake up during the work week but now you're wide awake?" I don't know, asshole. Let me go back to sleep!
DROID! /check phone to see a stupid email from Macy's telling me about a 10% sale. /put phone on silent
"Hey, did you win that late night Streak for the CASH pick?" Hmmm, lemme check. Nope. Fuck!

And so on...and on top of all of that bullshit are the fucking Canadian Geese that are fucking EVERYWHERE outside of my apartment building. And those fuckers do not shut the fuck up. Ever. They are such assholes. The only time I ever hear them make any noise is in the morning when I'm trying to sleep. Also, they shit everywhere. Earlier this week, some uppity geese decided to shit directly in front of the door to the building. Some day I'm gonna lose it and just snap one of their necks and cook the goose on the lawn as a warning to all the other geese. Fuck those fuckers and their incessant honking.

On another note, we're now through the first two rounds of the NFL Draft. If you follow my Twitter feed (@Mark_Show) you probably noticed that I wasn't really happy with the Patriots and how they handled the first round. I mean, really not happy. I was fucking pissed. I wanted Dez Bryant. They could have taken him and still probably gotten Devin McCourty in the 2nd round. Fucking shit. If Dez Bryant turns into a superstar....god, I don't even wanna talk about it. And if he doesn't? I will always believe that if he had come to New England things would have worked out differently and he would have been the greatest receiver of all time. Or something like that. Either way, it works out that I was right that the Pats should have taken him. I like that kind of fucked up logic. Makes me look like a genius.

However, now that it's Saturday, I've calmed down and my initial anger has subsided a little bit. I'm ready to see how McCourty works out. I'm ready to see if they actually throw the ball to the tight end they drafted with their 2nd overall pick. I'm ready to see if all the trading down benefits the team in the future. I'm just ready for fucking football! Unfortunately, the season is still over 4 months away. Balls.

As far as the NBA playoffs go, I really wish I had more time to watch the games. Especially the Western Conference games where there are some truly compelling matchups going on. But being on the East coast, I just can't stay up that late, which sucks. I wish I had stayed up to watch Kobe-Durant on Thursday night. Man I hope the Thunder can win game 4 and send things back to LA all tied up. I know it sucks for BoozeRob but even HE has to rooting for Durant, right? Am I wrong, Booze? If they could topple the Lakers in Round 1? God damn that would be fucking sweet.

And now we come to the Celtics. Going in to the playoffs, like pretty much everyone else, I really didn't have much in the way of expectations for this team. Game 1 happened and while I was happy that it looked like they were going to win, I couldn't believe that it was going to take ridiculous efforts from Glen Davis and Tony Allen to get it done. And then, of course, the scuffle happened. Paul Pierce went down, for whatever reason, and KG stood over him and then that little bitch Quentin Richardson came over and chaos broke out.

Now, I'm not going to defend KG here. He deserved his suspension. He let a fucking nobody like Q get in his head and he lost control. And he's a fucking asshole for doing that. But, Richardson can cut the shit for his quote saying that he only walked over there to get ready to inbound the ball. Not a fucking chance you piece of shit. First of all, the ball was being taken out from under the basket, dickhead. And second, everyone knows that you have issues with Pierce and the Celtics for some reason, which is pretty hilarious when you consider the fact that you're a shitty player with one skill, yet you feel like you can talk shit to anyone in the league. Get fucked.

Anyway, thanks to Pierce fucking burying the game-winner last night (why didn't the Heat use their foul to give?), it's now 3-0 and we're looking at a 2nd round matchup with Lebron and the Cavs. A week ago I would have said they had no chance. But after the the absolute ass kicking in Game 2 without KG and last night's gritty win, I'm feeling a little more optimistic. LET'S GO C'S!

Oh, and go Bruins. Wrap it up at home in Game 6, B's!