College Football Picks O' The Week!

4-0 last week, improving my picks record to 12-4. Look, I'll be the first to admit I cherry picked the shit out of those fucking games last week, so this week I vow to make it a little more difficult on myself. I'm taking games where anything could happen.

Stay tuned, its about to get crazy in here.

#25 Cal @ #17 Stanford
7:30 PM ET, No TV

Line: Stanford -8

Well shit, remember when I said that I wasn't going to cherry pick? Well apparently I lied. With Cal running back Jahvid Best out of the game due to a nasty landing against Oregon State a few weeks back, this game really lost some of its star power. That being said, don't count out the Bears just yet. They are coming off of an impressive victory of the then #17 Arizona Wildcats and have been getting outstanding production from backup RB Shane Vereen.

That being said, take the Tree in this one. The backfield combo of Andrew Luck and Toby Gerhart will just be too much for the Bears to overcome. I'm thinking the Tree win this one and pray for an Oregon loss to Arizona.

The real question is, will Cal track star Allison Stokke make the trip across the bay to watch the game....


Stanford 28 - Cal 17

Uconn @ Notre Dame
Charlie's Death March Continues
2:30 PM ET, NBC

Line: ND -6

Oh boy, wouldn't this be great to see that fat fuck Charlie lose yet another game at home to a team he has no business losing to. Well it could happen. In fact, I think it will happen.

This ND team is on its last legs. Sure they are bowl eligible, but with all the media attention swirling around who is going to take over for that fat asshole of a coach, do they really care? Probably not. In fact, I bet this is the week that the players just mail it in. Who gives a fuck anyway? Not Jimmy Speedo.... he's looking to the draft.

Uconn is going to need to control the clock by grinding it out on the ground. That means their two headed monster in the back field of Jordan Todman and Andre Dixon need to come up big. I bet anyone a nickel they will.

Don't worry Charlie, just think how many blocks of cheese you can get with your enormous gunt buyout!

Note: Surprisingly (or not) I couldn't find one hot chick for either ND or UConn. So I give you Bar. Enjoy


UPSET ALERT
Conn 24 - ND 23

#14 Penn State @ Michigan State
3:30 PM ET, ABC

Line: Michigan State +3


Joe-Pa and his degenerate hips roll into East Lansing this week hoping to keep their BCS bowl hopes alive. Really? BCS? Did anyone see how absolutely fucking terrible Penn State looked last week against Indiana?

FUCKING INDIANA!

Forget getting to a BCS bowl... I'm wondering if the Nitanny Lions win another fucking game this season.

Michigan State has won 4 of their last 6 at home in this series since 1997. MSU has the slight edge in yards per game with just over 279 of those yards coming through the air. MSU QB Kirk Cousins has been stellar this season throwing for 17 TD's to only 5 int's.

I keep telling myself that Penn State has a ball busting defense, but then they go and struggle against a lousy Indiana team. I don't think they have what it takes to stop Cousins, and I don't think they will put up the points to match. Look for the Spartans in a shocker.

UPSET ALERT
MSU 24 - Penn State 21


GAME OF THE WEEK!
#11 Oregon @ Arizona
8:00 PM ET, ABC

Line: Arizona +7

ESPN Gameday is making their first appearance in Tucson this week to bring us a battle between the Arizona Wildcats and the mother fucking Oregon Fucks. I hate those diamond plated wearing fucking tools.

Many of you maybe surprised to learn that Arizona actually has more total offense per game that Oregon. That's right. The Cats average 429.2 to Whoregon's 414.8. Neat huh? That being said, Oregon holds a decisive lead on the ground bringing the nations number 6 rushing attack to town to face off against a Zona team that is trying to keep its hopes of a first ever Rose Bowl alive.

Two great QB's in this one. I'm sure most of you have heard of Jeremiah Masoli for Oregon, but what about Zona's QB Nick Foles? This sophomore QB completes nearly 70% of his passes and runs a potent Wildcat offense like he's been there for years.

Big dreams on the line in this game. If Oregon can win out they are smelling roses for the first time since 1994. If Zona wins, we have a logjam at the top of the Pac 10 with Stanford, Zona, and the Beavs right there with the Quacks for a trip to Pasadena.

My pick? Well I told you I had a theme today....

Biggest game ever in Tucson = Biggest Win ever for the Cats

UPSET ALERT
Arizona 45 - Oregon 42


That's right. Three fucking upsets this week. Cherry pick that mother fuckers.

Until next week...