F--k Lebron James

Fuck Lebron James. Fuck him right in the ear. This is a guy who hasn't won anything in his fucking life. He didn't win in high school. He hasn't won in the pros. Shit, he couldn't even win a fucking game when his team made the finals. He's a fucking loser. I hate him more than any other athlete in sports history. And there are a lot of athletes that I hate. A one hour TV show to announce where you're going to be next year? Fuck you, you piece of shit.

Even if he announces he's returning to Cleveland he's still a gigantic, gaping asshole. And if he doesn't return to Cleveland? Holy fucking shit. That would be the biggest fuck you to an entire city of all time.

Lebron didn't need all this time to make a decision. You can't tell me he hasn't had his mind made up this entire time. So why the fucking drama? Because he's an absolute dickhead, that's why.

To me, there's something telling about how no marquee players have come to Cleveland the past few years. And that's because everything has to be about Lebron. Win a championship? It's all about Lebron. Don't win a championship? It's about how Lebron wasn't surrounded by the talent he needed to win. It's about how the coach sucks. It's about how the GM is no good. It's all fucking bullshit.

It's also complete bullshit that he's giving the advertising money to charity for this one hour blowjob tonight. Hey asshole, you're worth a shit ton of money. You wanna give to charity? Then fucking give to charity. I guarantee you could give more on your own than is going to be produced by the show tonight. Fucking dick.

I hope he returns to Cleveland. And then I hope he fucking fails miserably and never wins a title. His legacy is, in my opinion, forever tarnished by this bullshit. If I were a Cavs fan I'm not sure how I'd be able to throw my full support behind him. It's his home state, practically his home town and he's treating it like ass. Fuck him. And if he goes to Miami or Chicago, well congratulations, he had to sell his soul and ditch his home state. Way to go, douche. You're the self-proclaimed "King" and you had to go somewhere else to win a title? Fuck you.

Lebron is an over hyped bastard. As a Cleveland Indians fan, I would love for the city to win a championship in any sport. But seriously, fuck Lebron James. This shit makes the Brett Favre stuff make me happy to hear about Brett Favre. And that REALLY pisses me off. Call me when Lebron wins a title. At 9 pm EST tonight I'll be doing something else besides watching this asshole jerk off to himself.

Fuck Lebron James. And fuck ESPN for allowing this bullshit on their airwaves.

Glen Davis Wants To Play Football

If you were an NBA player who recently broke his thumb in an idiotic fight with your best friend, costing you 6 weeks of your season and an undisclosed amount of money due to a fine from the team, and were also the most recent Dorn of the Week, what would you be doing right about now? Would you lay low, work out as much as you can, stay out of the press and just get ready to help the team upon your return? Or would you start talking about how you want to play in the NFL at some point? Well, Glen 'Big Dumbshit Fuckhead Baby' Davis has chosen the latter.

"I will try it. When I become an All-Star in the NBA, when I become a great player in the NBA, then I'll try football. One of my dreams has always been to play football."

This is fucking hilarious. Forget about the fact that Davis hasn't played football since his high school days at University Laboratory High School (the fuck kind of name is that??) or that he that he doesn't even have a position in mind, let's make fun of the first part of that quote. "When I become an All-Star?" Excuse me for one second, but, AHAHAHAHAHA! Holy shit is he fucking serious??

Don't get me wrong, I love the ambition, but Glen Davis is NEVER going to be an NBA All-Star. He's a decent role player, but for fuck's sake, there is no fucking chance! Even when handed the starting job due to KG's unfortunate injury last season he could only manage 15.8 points and 5.4 rebounds a game. 5.4 rebounds? For a fucking power forward? That does not equal NBA greatness, buddy. Hate to break it to you, but that's how shit works in professional basketball. Get your ass in the gym, shut your fucking mouth, and hope that you get some playing time to help the Celtics romp their way to another championship this year. Because it's pretty god damn evident that, so far, your efforts are not fucking needed on this juggernaut.

And as far as football goes, I know you're good at bumping into little kids and knocking their hats off, but I think NFL players are a little tougher than that little pussy.