One God-Damn Hit?: Tiger Woods


If you're offended by the word fuck, then get the fuck out.

Showing posts with label Tiger Woods. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tiger Woods. Show all posts

Monday, December 7, 2009

Dorn of the Week: Tiger Woods


Well we all knew this was coming, right? Unless you're a fucking dipshit you know that this week's Dorn award goes to Tiger Woods. Unless you've been camped out under a fucking rock for the past week and a half you know the story in a nutshell: Tiger has been fucking around on Elin with a shitload of different chicks. What an asshole. And a few of the alleged home wreckers are fucking U-G-L-Y. Jesus, if you're gonna go cheat on your Swedish supermodel wife, at least make it worthwhile.


I'm not gonna sit here and rehash every little thing about this story, but I just wanted to mention why this whole thing REALLY has me pissed off. From now until fucking eternity, EVERY time my wife and I are together and we see something related to Tiger, an ad, a golf tournament, whatever, she's going to have some snide remark about his cheating ass. EVERY. TIME. It's not as bad as the "If Tiger cheats and you still like him that means you're ok with cheating!" bullshit that I'm sure millions of husbands are going to have to deal with, but it's annoying nonetheless. So fuck you very much for that, Tiger.


Update: Completely forgot to throw this video in here. Bad job by me.




PS - I would have loved to give the Dorn to BoozeRob for breaking his fucking ankle this weekend. Way to go dickhead. Now your poor wife has to take care of your fucking gimpy ass for god knows how long while you sit there and play Xbox and get high on percocets? Fuck that. If I were her I'd take the power cables from all your video game consoles. What are you gonna do, chase her? Nope, you'd be fucked. And then you'd cry. Just like Tim Tebow. Cry, Booze, cry!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Dorn of the Week Nominee: Tiger Woods


God fucking damn you, Tiger. You're supposed to be one of the good guys, not some dickhead running around committing adultery with two kids at home. Call me a pussy if you want to, but this whole story has me bummed out. I guess it's pretty hypocritical of me to laugh my ass off at the Steve Phillips story and then have the complete opposite reaction to this, but it is what is. Fucking A.
And Tiger? You can stop bitching about the media any time now. A huge part of the reason you're a bazillionaire is because the media helped boost up your squeaky clean image that made you all of that endorsement money. You can't have it both ways, fucker. Get your fucking act together, start winning more tournaments, and stop fucking around on your wife. Or get a divorce. Whatever. Seriously, how the fuck do you cheat on a hot piece of ass like Elin? I guess this just reinforces the old saying: "Show me a hot chick and I'll show you a guy who's tired of fucking her."