One God-Damn Hit?: Big Baby Davis


If you're offended by the word fuck, then get the fuck out.

Showing posts with label Big Baby Davis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Big Baby Davis. Show all posts

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Glen Davis Wants To Play Football


If you were an NBA player who recently broke his thumb in an idiotic fight with your best friend, costing you 6 weeks of your season and an undisclosed amount of money due to a fine from the team, and were also the most recent Dorn of the Week, what would you be doing right about now? Would you lay low, work out as much as you can, stay out of the press and just get ready to help the team upon your return? Or would you start talking about how you want to play in the NFL at some point? Well, Glen 'Big Dumbshit Fuckhead Baby' Davis has chosen the latter.

"I will try it. When I become an All-Star in the NBA, when I become a great player in the NBA, then I'll try football. One of my dreams has always been to play football."
This is fucking hilarious. Forget about the fact that Davis hasn't played football since his high school days at University Laboratory High School (the fuck kind of name is that??) or that he that he doesn't even have a position in mind, let's make fun of the first part of that quote. "When I become an All-Star?" Excuse me for one second, but, AHAHAHAHAHA! Holy shit is he fucking serious??

Don't get me wrong, I love the ambition, but Glen Davis is NEVER going to be an NBA All-Star. He's a decent role player, but for fuck's sake, there is no fucking chance! Even when handed the starting job due to KG's unfortunate injury last season he could only manage 15.8 points and 5.4 rebounds a game. 5.4 rebounds? For a fucking power forward? That does not equal NBA greatness, buddy. Hate to break it to you, but that's how shit works in professional basketball. Get your ass in the gym, shut your fucking mouth, and hope that you get some playing time to help the Celtics romp their way to another championship this year. Because it's pretty god damn evident that, so far, your efforts are not fucking needed on this juggernaut.

And as far as football goes, I know you're good at bumping into little kids and knocking their hats off, but I think NFL players are a little tougher than that little pussy.


Monday, November 2, 2009

Dorn of the Week: Glen Davis

Well jesus fucking christ it was a slow week for Dorn nominees. Hey assholes! Start acting more assholish so we have shit to write about on this damn site! Fuck. Anyway, so by default (the two sweetest words in the English language) this week's Dorn is Glen 'Big Baby' Davis for the fucktardery of fighting with his best friend and breaking his thumb just night's before the season opener against the Cavs. Fucking idiot. The whole story is strange, but the weirdest part is that when Baby and his fuck-buddy emerged from the SUV after their little slapfight, Baby was shirtless. What the fuck was going on in there? Now, we all know that Baby has no problem going sans shirt...
but jesus, in an SUV with your buddy and your girlfriend at 4am? Fucking lock it up, dude. Anyway, there would be a lot more anger in this post but the Celtics look like they're gonna go 82-0 so I really don't give a shit about not having this fat fucking jackass around for the next 5 or 6 weeks.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Dorn of the Week Nominee: Glen Davis

And here we have Glen "Big Baby" Davis. Our first nominee for the week. Let's role play for one second here: I'm a 24-year old NBA player who just signed a fairly lucrative extension and it's a few days away from the season opener against the fucking Lebrons. I'll tell you I wouldn't be fucking doing...getting in a drunken fist fight with my best friend that ends up breaking my thumb, requiring fucking surgery, and missing about 6 weeks of the season. YOU STUPID FAT FUCK! Jesus christ, how hard is it to have a few drinks with your buddy and not end up throwing fucking blows! I hope the Celtics fine the shit out of you, you sniffling piece of blubber. Jesus fuck.