One God-Damn Hit?: College Football Picks O' The Week!


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Friday, October 23, 2009

College Football Picks O' The Week!

It's almost Saturday, and that means its almost time for some fucking College Football! Fuck yeah! Since I like College Football, I thought I would share my genius with the world and make some picks for you all this week.

*Note: If you gamble from my picks, you deserve to fucking die.

#13 Penn State @ Michigan
The Coaches with Fucktarded Nicknames Bowl
3:30 PM ET, ABC

Penn State favored by 4 Points

Joe-Pa and his degenerative hips roll into the Big House to face Rich-Rod and his two headed freshmen QB monster. Penn State has not won at Ann Arbor since 1996, but with the inside shot on the Big 10 title on the line, Penn State looks like the good pick this week.

Penn State 34 - Michigan 17

#8 TCU @ #16 BYU
The "Hey look at us!" game of the week.
7:30 PM ET, No TV because no one gives a fuck.
TCU by 1

A Mountain West battle made all the more special by the ESPN GameDay crew rolling into town to stroke one out for the little guy. The mighty Horned Frogs are looking to win out and almost certainly jump fellow BCS Buster Boise State for the right to play in the Fiesta Bowl. No BCS Title game for this shitty little conference school, play some good teams, then pop off!

Back to the game, TCU owns the nations 4th longest winning streak and is seeking to beat America's only cult sponsored team for the second year in a row (send complaints to BoozeRob@OGDH.com). I looked into my magic hat full of seer stones and have seen the outcome.

TCU 24 - BYU 21


Auburn @ #9 LSU

War Eagle is looking to take a shit in Death Valley
7:30 PM ET, ESPN2
LSU by 8.5

LSU's offense has looked pretty shitty this season being led by the pretty fucking ineffective Jordan Jefferson.  That being said, the last 5 meetings between these two schools have been decided by a grand total of 19 points with LSU taking 3 of the 5.

Auburn on the other hand is averaging 35 points a game led by QB Chris Todd and a couple of nice backs staring at his ass behind him.

I'm taking Auburn in this one... WAR EAGLE MOTHER FUCKERS!

Auburn 31 - LSU 24

GAME OF THE WEEK
#11 Oregon @ Washington
The battle of two teams that truly fucking hate each other.
3:30 PM ET, ABC
Oregon by 10.

No joking around here, these two teams fucking hate each other. I mean really fucking hate each other. While both schools have their traditional rivals in Oregon State and Washington State, ask anybody from either school and they will tell you they would rather beat the Dawgs or the Ducks.

Since getting their shit stomped in Boise way back in September, Oregon has gotten on a roll winning their last five... granted they really haven't beaten anybody and this could be their first real test since. Washington has pulled off an impressive turnaround from their 0-12 finish last season, beating USC at home and pulling off an impressive last second win against Arizona. UW also took Notre Dame to overtime and lost to Arizona State on a last second breakdown in coverage.

Even though Oregon has won the last 5 in this series, make no mistake, UW owns this series by a large margin. OGDH is predicting an end to the Ducks winning streak due to the heroics of the best player on the field, UW QB Jake Locker. Its going to be a great day of booze, bitches, and victory over at Montlake.

UW 34 - Oregon 28

So I'm a homer, wanna fucking fight about it?

Fuck the Ducks!